Paradisa Masq continuing post

[radiantwingedone]

(reposted to continue from here )

[ But he really wants to. Duke wants to get away, to try to stop the feelings from matching up and making sense, perhaps he could get away from them fast enough they wouldn't take root and hurt him again.

But there is a much more physical hurt - not that sometimes it didn't feel like it was a physical hurt - if he tried to go as fast as he could now. Vanyel had a grip on him, and it wouldn't do to try now. ]

Is not, will never be... [ But Duke will shut up, at the very least.

This is the closest to calm as he can get right now, silent and shaking. ]

Comments

[peacockherald]

_{[He sighed, glad at least the other did not seem ready to bolt like a rabbit from the fox. It was a start, and he had to keep remding himself that he couldn't fix this in one go. It had taken him months... no, years, for him to move beyond the cold wall he had built for himself, especially after... Tylendel...]}

With thinking like that? You're right, it won't get better.

But, for now, just calm down, all right? There's no need to run from me, really.

[radiantwingedone]

... If friends, there is every need. [ He still wants to run, though, but the slight calm he's clinging to is reminding him that it doesn't really seem like he has a true way out of this place, which... makes running a little useless.

He's got nothing to say to the way he thinks not allowing for things to get better. He tried thinking other ways, and it didn't work. It tended to make him feel worse, really, and that darker sadness - the kind that clings over the years - may be working its way up. He doesn't want friends.. ]

[peacockherald]

I used to think the same. But it's not a good answer, trust me.

[radiantwingedone]

It is better than hurting like that again.